From noon to 5am: Day 4 of 66
Day 4 of 66
Summer, not Walker but the season definitely knows her worth. If I were to personify her and her upbringing I’d say she grew up with money to spare and unshakeable principles, values and morals. She learned the importance of being herself, how to set and uphold her boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. As an adult she’s honed her skills and knows exactly how to make people want her, see her, feel her, miss her and love her just by being, well, her. Regardless of how others feel about it she’s gonna do her, drop the mic and walk away. Cause why tf is it 11 degrees this morning? Already! 😒😭
So maybe I should’ve started this journey earlier cause with 62 days to go, mornings are only going to get colder. Unless I go to Jamaica 🤔.
Ignores intrusive thoughts.
I went to bed around 12 ish which means I got about 5 hours of sleep. Yes, the four alarms and the previous strategy worked this morning. I was actually up on the second alarm. Great! 🙃
The me that woke up this morning was not fond of this jouney. I wasn’t making excuses but I was just over it. Other than the challenge I felt like I didn’t have a good enough reason to do this. I reached for my copy of the 5am Club for a little inspiration, turned to the chapter on habit inspiration and read….
Blah blah blah 🙄
Honestly, it’s inspirational and the first time I read it I was inspired but my energy was too low to be motivated and inspired in that moment. So even though today was an Adidas day, I thought of the Nike slogan and just did it. Like beauty, inspiration is in the eye of the person looking for it I guess. Yeah I know that’s not the quote. It works though right? 😉
I swung open the door as if I was welcoming the heroes of history but the 11 degree air was the only thing there.
Sorrows, sorrows, prayers.
I knew in that moment that I was gonna have to spend this entire trip to the gym looking for reasons to like mornings. If I didn’t, I wasn’t going to have enough ammunition to shoot down my excuses in the future. So, I adjusted my mindset and got busy searching for the beauty in everything trying assiduously to ignore my detestation for mornings.
Me: Oh, it’s garbage day and I’ve never seen the street like this pre garbage collection before. Oh how everyone follows the rules.
*Takes picture*
Me: Bro, really? You’re focusing on the trash right now? 🤣
Me: Travel time is much less because there is less traffic and less people out and about.
Me: The sun’s not out yet, actually the moon is out and it’s still a full moon. Now that’s gorgeous.
“God bless my eyesight” I whisper as taught by one of my exes. A parent told her that full moons happen roughly once per month, most people miss them and many have never seen one. The latter stuck with her so she listened and instilled the habit of repeating that phrase every time she saw a full moon or something beautiful. Here I was 12 years post break up using it too. For a split second I wondered if she saw the full moon last night or this morning too.
I don’t know if this is all going to be enough ammunition for the future but it’s a start and it got me to slow down and admire the little big things we take for granted each day.
“Dear God, thank you for giving me the ability to see. To scan and to truly see the things you’ve created and the beauty around me. God bless my eyesight.”
