From noon to 5am: Day 2 of 66

Day 2 of 66

I’ve been awake for 52 minutes. “Gosh, that felt like the most difficult 52 minutes I’ve had in a long time.” I think to myself. Internal self awareness is such a powerful and invaluable trait. Being aware of your habits and excuses makes them predictable and invalid. Today I learned that my arsenal for shooting down excuses was stocked. I was locked and loaded.

It’s so fucking hard to convince you to do anything. Why the hell did you decide to do this! Why did you share it? Ugh! I’m tired! My back hurts!

We’re taking it light this week, it’ll stop soon.

These shorts are too tight.

No one cares, if anything someone will enjoy looking at your butt.

I didn’t get enough sleep!

Wouldn’t be the first time.

I don’t need to do this! I’m a night person!

Yes you do! You did it for years in high school and college.

Mornings suck!

We know, get over it!

(insert laundry list of excuses). This lasted for about 20 minutes. For every single excuse, I had a rebuttal. POW POW POW!

Every one was shot down as I fought with the old me to get out the door. Felt like torture but I did it anyway.

This morning there were no heroes at my door. I didn’t have the energy to imagine them. I barely had the energy to walk but if this were a movie walking through the door would be one of the repetitive scenes that only last 5 seconds a piece and seem pointless but end up being the moments that ultimately decide whether the hero becomes the hero or has to restart the journey. It’s a movie so we know how it ends.

The hero becomes the hero.

“In the movie of our lives we owe it to ourselves to become the hero.” -Ell Williams

I was the gayest version of me today cause I couldn’t do anything straight. Lol. Couldn’t think straight, couldn’t walk straight and thank God breathing is automatic at this point cause I don’t think I’d be doing that straight way either.